It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
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Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
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Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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