So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
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He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
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Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
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