the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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