4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize