It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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