i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize