She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize