no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
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I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
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Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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