dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Let's get the cat blown out
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize