He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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