the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
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He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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