the new term for farting is butt boxing.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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