i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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