so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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