I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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