I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Your shirt... Was in my pants
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
