Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
