and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i think im in europe. pls send help
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
