so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
tell me about the eggs
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