I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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