I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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