We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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