these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
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He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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