i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
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I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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