I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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