so explain again why im purple
no
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
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and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
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Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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