Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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