that's an acceptable place to lick
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
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Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
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Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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