Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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