You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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