She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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