Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize