At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize