Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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