No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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