don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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