New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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