Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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