it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize