oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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