as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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