i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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