Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize