i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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