hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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