So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize