I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
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the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
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She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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