where does the pee come out of this thing
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize