He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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