I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
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I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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