I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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