Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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