i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I woke up under a house in Key West
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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