Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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